Tag Archives: Faith

Larry’s Testimony

In 1985, my life smashed into a brick wall. I needed thousands of dollars to start a publishing company and bail my family out of debt. My sources were all maxed out and the hope level in my reservoir was hovering at empty. I was finished.

The only untouched asset I had was a $125,000 life insurance policy. So, my solution seemed obvious: suicide.

As for taking my life, I had no problems with it because I was an atheist. No God equals no problems with eternal judgment, right? It wasn’t personal, just a business solution for my family and me.

My plan was uncomplicated. I figured on enjoying one last weekend with my family and then committing suicide on that Monday evening.

Thus, on May 20, 1985, I spent the day finishing up loose ends. Then, for some reason, I stopped at an insurance agent’s office. Although we knew each other, Bill and I were not intimate friends and had never really talked to each other before that day.

Bill invited me into his office. We discussed baseball. Then in the middle of our conversation, he stared at me and said, “You’re thinking about committing suicide, aren’t you?”

His words hit me like a sledgehammer. How did he know? I told no one. It was my secret $125,000 payday. I was speechless. As I sat there, a vision played across my mind about my car ramming into a viaduct and killing me.

I wept and although I tried to regain my composure, I could not. “How did you know?” I asked.

“Oh,” said Bill, “the Lord told me while we were talking to each other.”

His words shattered my unbelief. God was alive and He cared about me. We continued talking and he finally gave me a book to read: Power in Praise by Merlin Carothers.

When I arrived home, I began reading the book. After a few pages, I walked into the bathroom, closed the door and knelt in front of the sink. Looking into the mirror, I prayed, “Jesus, I’ve tried everything else and nothing has worked. I guess I’ll give You a try.”

Instantly, I was changed. Fear and shame were no longer a part of me, but instead, joy and hope filled my heart. Bowing and worshipping my new King, I promised to never let go of His hand.

If my story were a fictional Hollywood movie, perhaps it would resemble It’s A Wonderful Life. Jimmy Stewart would play me and Donna Reed my wife. The angel would get his wings and everyone would live happily ever after. The end.

But sadly, my life has not been a work of fiction. It has been a day to day journey, filled with a few good experiences, but also many mistakes, false starts and failures. Divorce. Loss of friends. Numerous firings from sales positions. Low-paying jobs. Poverty. Rejection. Loneliness. Not exactly, a picture perfect Christian life.

And yet, it has been in the deepest valleys where the Lord has truly revealed Himself to me. It was there He became my loving Father and I learned His grace was sufficient for me.

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How Praying for Empty Parking Places Can Lead to Healing the Sick and Raising the dead (Part 2)

A little more than thirty-five years ago, I was the treasurer of the St. Edmond’s high school athletic boosters’ club and made an error, causing a financial problem in the boosters’ checking account. I prayed and asked the Lord for His help before calling the bank.

I phoned and explained the problem to a bank officer. She quickly told me the error would be handled and the funds restored into the checking account. I was so excited by how easily it worked out.

“Oh Lord, You care about small things, too,” I said aloud after hanging up.

“I care about all things,” said an audible voice.

I jumped off the stool and bowed down on the kitchen’s tile floor. Tears streamed down my face. I shook, wondering what would happen to me because the voice seemed so loud and so holy. I stayed in that position of reverence for several minutes.

This was the only time I have heard the audible voice of God in my thirty-nine years of walking with Him.  Yet, I am still amazed at His response to my simple prayer. Maybe God wants to be invited into every part of our lives, even the mundane and the ordinary parts..

Now, I want to contrast the above situation with a recent problem that I had concerning a bad tire on the car I drove for U*B*E*R share rides. The problem nagged at me in the middle of the night. I eventually went downstairs an hour earlier than my usual waking time to seek the presence of the Lord.

“Lord, You are my refuge and my fortress; in You, I trust. So, help me in this situation,” I cried out to the Lord.

After waiting on the Lord, I felt the Holy Spirit speak Jeremiah 12:5 to my heart: “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?”

The Lord rebuked me!

He let me know that if I couldn’t trust Him with my life’s issues in today’s America, how would I be able to trust Him when major calamities hit our nation in the near future. Ouch!

And yet, His rebuke settled my heart. I was freed from my doubts and fears.

“Prayer is not about getting God to agree with our answers for our problems, but it’s about positioning us to stand with God and His answers for our circumstances,” said Tyler Staton, the head of the 24/7 Prayer Movement in America.

How can these two contrasting prayers prepare us for prayers of healing the sick and raising the dead? 

(Continued in Part 3)

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The Car Accident That Wasn’t

Last Tuesday, I was driving from Ft. Smith to Fayetteville, Arkansas, a trip of sixty miles over up-and-down terrain through the Boston Mountains. It was approximately 5:50 a.m. No moon. No stars. Extremely dark conditions with tall trees lining both sides of Interstate 49. My speedometer registered 75 miles per hour, the posted speed limit.

As I drove down a steep incline in the right lane, there were no vehicles in front of me nor any behind me. My only source of light were my car’s dimmed headlights. 

All of a sudden, a deer stood directly in front of me. The doe turned her head toward me. Somehow, I noticed a fawn off to the left, stopping to watch the action. If I could have sat on the hood of my car, I could have easily touched the deer.

I didn’t pray or shout or step on my brakes. There was no time, especially traveling 75 miles per hour or 110 feet per second. I resigned myself to hitting the deer.

Then, just like that, the doe appeared on the right side of my car, wagging its white tail and heading toward the tree line.

I continued speeding down the road while I tried to digest what had just happened. I shut off the radio and began praising the Lord at the top of my lungs. Gratitude for the One who promised to “never leave me nor forsake me” consumed me for the next half hour.

Earlier that morning, I had prayed my usual prayer for my ride-share business: “Lord, schedule my day, don’t let me miss any of your divine appointments in the Fayetteville area. And Lord, give Your angels charge over me, to guard me in all of my ways and have Your angels lift me up, lest I strike my foot against a stone.”

Later, I also learned that Carol had been praying in the Spirit for a long time that morning.

So, I figured the Lord wanted to underline the importance of our daily prayers…but something continually nagged me.

Everything seemed so orchestrated. There was no way I could notice all of those details while traveling at 75 miles per hour. What was the Lord really trying to show me?

A couple of days later, two verses were impressed on me:

            “Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,” says the Lord of Hosts. “What are you, O great mountain [of obstacles]? Before Zerubbabel, you will become plain [insignificant]…with loud shouts of “Grace, grace to it!” (Zechariah 4:6-7 AMP)

The Lord is the greatest teacher in the history of the world. Who else could choreograph a deer, a young fawn, a speeding car and myself into an unforgettable life lesson for me? 

Thus, whatever obstacles may seem to be holding me back – even a deer – are insignificant to the Spirit of the Lord and His grace.

Amen.

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Who or What is Restraining the Antichrist? (Part 1) 

Do you remember Rosie Ruiz?

Rosie was the supposed female winner of the 1980 Boston Marathon in a record time of 2:31:56. Her posted time was the third fastest for a female in the history of marathons. (A marathon is 26 miles and 385 yards of grueling uphill, downhill road races, usually through urban areas.)

But upon inspection, Rosie had not passed through any of the checkpoints along the marathon route. She somehow skipped most of the race and reentered the marathon from a crowd of people only a half mile before the finish line.

Rosie was disqualified. The second-place finisher – Jacqueline Gareau – was declared the winner in a time of 2:34:38.

Checkpoints!

Does God have checkpoints for His redemption narrative intertwined in scriptures from the Book of Genesis to the Book of Revelation?

But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth his Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons (Galatians 4:4-5 ESV)

How did God hold off messiah imposters from appearing on the scene, trying to take the place of Jesus before the fullness of time had come?

Prophecies!

God’s checkpoints for His redemption narrative in Scripture are prophecies.

Some of the prophecies Jesus had to fulfill at His first coming include:

            1. Born of a virgin. (Isaiah 7:14)

            2. Born into the lineage of King David (2 Samuel 7:12)

            3. Born in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2)

            4. Called out of Egypt (Hosea 11:1)

            5. Born into the tribe of Judah (Genesis 49:10)

            6. Live in Galilee and be called a Nazarene (Isaiah 9:1-2)

            7. Massacre of children at Jesus’ birth (Jeremiah 31:15)

Neither man nor Satan could have figured out or fulfilled the above seven prophecies ahead of time. Only God through His omniscience and His power could fulfill these prophecies.

Okay, what about Jesus’ second coming? Who or what is restraining the Antichrist?

(Continued in Part 2)

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In the recent spiritual and sexual abuse scandals, could the church leaders have avoided moral failure by undergoing deliverance? (Part 3)

Judson Cornwall (1924 – 2005) was a noted preacher, pastor and prolific author of over 50 books, some of which are considered classics today.

Cornwall was invited to be the main speaker for a graduation ceremony at Elim Bible Institute in Lima, New York. He concluded his speech by saying, “Let me offer you some advice. Don’t go directly from this ceremony into fulltime ministry or to being a church pastor. Take three or four or five years off. Get a job and work in the market place. Discover the problems normal people struggle with every day. You will learn how to better relate to your congregations and how to help them. And all the while, the Holy Spirit will change you. So, do your congregations a favor, get a job.”

The result of Cornwall’s wise advice was that Elim Bible Institute never invited him to speak again at their college.

*******

Four months after Vice President Mike Pence eulogized Ravi Zacharias as “the greatest apologist of this century,” Zacharias’ reputation began falling apart. Three women who worked at two spas he co-owned in the Atlanta area came forth, alleging sexual harassment and abuse by Zacharias.

Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM) hired a law firm to investigate Zacharias. Their 12-page report contained findings far worse than anyone could have ever imagined. Two hundred contacts of female massage therapists with photos, some in the nude, were on Zacharias’ cell phones. A trail of misuse of RZIM funds to fund his sexual escapades in the US, India, Thailand and Malaysia was uncovered.

The law firm’s best estimates were that Zacharias’ sexual escapades had happened over the ten-year period leading up to just a few months before his death. 

One woman told the investigators that “after he arranged for his ministry to provide her with financial support, he required sex from her.” She called it rape.

She said Zacharias “made her pray with him to thank God for the ‘opportunity’ they both received” and, as with other victims, “called her his ‘reward’ for living a life of service to God,” the report says. Zacharias warned the woman—a fellow believer—if she ever spoke out against him, she would be responsible for millions of souls lost when his reputation was damaged.

More information can be read here and here.

******

Okay, here’s my supposition and like all opinions, it can be somewhat true or totally false. So, reader beware!

Zacharias was delivered from the kingdom of darkness and translated into the Kingdom of God when he was seventeen years old. He was saved.

But like me, he may still have had some iniquity intertwined with his personality by puppet strings leading to a demon. This demon may have been able to pull on his soul – mind, will and emotions – at various times throughout his life, tempting him toward his inner sexual lusts. His inner lusts may have slowly overcome his spiritual learning and fear of the Lord, until he finally fell into sin. And the sin eventually became full-grown so that he was completely dead to any conviction by the Holy Spirit.

Was Ravi Zacharias ever possessed by the demon? No, but he was heavily deceived.

Maybe if Ravi Zacharias’ path would have crossed with Judson Cornwall, maybe Zacharias would have listened to the wise advice. But this did not happen because Zacharias moved from high school graduation, to emigrating to Canada, to Bible school, to marriage, to studying for his Masters of Divinity and then working in fulltime ministry. He never worked a normal job.

Thus, no friends talked with him after a church service, asking to pray for him so that he could be delivered from the demon.

Why have I mentioned Zacharias not having a normal job? Is this really that important?

Once Zacharias stepped into a pulpit of a traditional church, his gifting elevated him far above the people sitting in the pews before him. The congregation could no longer talk to him on an equal basis.

Can you imagine confronting Ravi Zacharias about his demon and his need for deliverance after a pulpit appearance? I can’t imagine that ending well, can you?

The biggest chasm in the traditional church system is between the pulpit and the pews. Seldom is there a bridge between the two.

I’ve used Ravi Zacharias in my article for a few reasons. One, he is dead; and two, there is so much info available about him.

But I have done some checking on other sexual abuse scandals, almost every pastor and leader has followed Zacharias’ example. Could these scandals have been avoided by deliverance from a demon at an earlier age? Maybe.

The comedian Flip Wilson used to joke, “The devil made me do it!” 

Yet, pastors and leaders can’t use that for an excuse because the man with 2,000 demons ran up to Jesus, bowed down and worshipped Him.

It still all comes down to having humility and a godly character

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In the recent spiritual and sexual abuse scandals, could the church leaders have avoided moral failure by undergoing deliverance? (Part 2)

In the early months of 2020, I learned that one of my heroes of the faith, Ravi Zacharias, was suffering from a rare cancer – sarcoma. The article asked for prayers for him because without divine intervention, he was only expected to live a couple of weeks.

I prayed for Zacharias and even tried to negotiate with God. “Lord, I am willing to take Ravi’s sickness in my body so that he can be healed and live to touch millions more people.”

My negotiations and prayers were not heeded because Ravi Zacharias died on May 19, 2020. He was seventy-four years old when he died which was my age also. (I was born in February and he was born in March.)

A few months later, I was shocked to learn that Zacharias was not the man of God I thought he was.

******

Ravi Zacharias was born on March 26, 1946, in Madras, India. He grew up in the Delhi area and was fluent in both English and Hindi.

His parents were Anglican, but he remained a skeptic until a failed suicided attempt landed him in the hospital when he was seventeen years old. A Christian worker brought him a Bible and asked his mother to read John Chapter 14 to Ravi. 

“Because I live, you will live also” were the words that sliced through Ravi’s skepticism. Ravi committed his life to Christ and prayed, “Jesus if you are the One who gives life as it is meant to be, I want it. Please get me out of this hospital bed well, and I promise I will leave no stone unturned in my pursuit of truth.”

Soon after, Ravi and his parents emigrated to Toronto, Canada, where he received his undergraduate degree from Ontario Bible College (now Tyndale University) in 1972. He furthered his education with a Masters of Divinity from Trinity International University and also studied in Cambridge, England, at a Church of England theological school.

Ravi first evangelized U. S. soldiers and Viet Cong prisoners in Vietnam and the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia. Then, he packed his bags and traveled the globe. In August, 1984, he founded Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM) in Toronto, with his goal to be a “classical evangelist in the arena of the intellectually resistant.” The ministry was later moved to the suburbs of Atlanta, Georgia.

As an apologist for Christianity, Ravi argued that a coherent worldview must be able to satisfactorily answer four questions: that of origin, meaning of life, morality and destiny. He said that while every major religion makes exclusive claims about truth, the Christian faith is unique in its ability to answer all four of these questions.

Ravi wrote more than thirty books and hosted two radio programs, all while traveling the world to fulfill his calling. He touched millions of people through his ministry, including mine.

Vice President Mike Pence called Ravi “the greatest apologist of this century” at his funeral which was watched live by 1.2 million people. Tim Tebow and other luminaries spoke of their admiration for Ravi. Whitehouse spokesman, Kayleigh McEnany, summed up what many felt about Ravi: “He made us feel that we didn’t need to check our brains at the door to be a 
Christian.”

And yet, he had a secret life which exploded onto the public scene only weeks after his death.

(Continued in Part 3)

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Why are our healing prayers so ineffective?

The female pastor walked to the pulpit and began her eulogy for my friend Brad. I have no idea what she said because the Lord chose that moment to speak to me.

I felt Him whisper to my heart: 

“My church is a bunch of nice losers. They lay their hands on the sick and pray for them, but when they die, they aren’t mad at all. They don’t check themselves out to see what happened or what they may have done wrong with their prayers and actions. They accept defeats and don’t think any more about them.

“Now, Major League baseball teams are all filled with good players. Each player has to be one of the best in the world to make it to the Major Leagues. Losing teams have good players on their rosters, too. But after a while, losing teams’ players don’t mind losing because after all, they still receive their Major League paychecks and bonuses.

 “But winning Major League baseball teams are different. They hate losing and will do anything and whatever it takes to win. They hate losing.

“I want My church to hate losing!”

This time the grief, which hit me, measured a ten on the Richter Scale. (Excerpt from my memoir, The Hunt for Larry Who)

            These miraculous signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak in new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won’t hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick, and they will be healed.” (Mark 16:17-18)

I have prayed for numerous sick people in the last few years. What have been the results? Many have died and others have continued on in their ailments. I’m not exactly a ringing endorsement for the truths of Mark 16:18.

Finally, I am fed up and angry about my efforts!

You see, I mirrored what the Church as a whole has been doing. Like them, I’ve gone through all of the traditional motions. Anointing the sick with oil. Laying hands on them. And tossing prayers out there for their healing. Maybe even fasting a little. But I failed to ask myself some tough questions: why are the sick still dying after my prayers? Why are they still ailing and crippled? What am I doing wrong?

I have become like the losing Major League baseball teams. I didn’t hate losing…until now.

Recently, I sought the Lord on what I was doing wrong.

The Lord showed me that my healing efforts were centered on the hope that one of my gifts – gift of healing, gift of faith or the gift of working of miracles – would show up and the sick person would be healed right then and there on the spot.

Yes, I have seen healing miracles through these gifts over the years, but to be honest, these gifts have not been consistently working through me in the last few years. And from my observations, these gifts haven’t been working that well in the Church as a whole.

You see, the Church and I have been guilty of trying to walk in the gifts used by Kathryn Kuhlman, Oral Roberts, William Branham, Jack Coe, Paul Cain, A. A. Allen and others during the healing revival of the 1940s and 1950s. But the problem is that healing revival is over and the next healing revival has not arrived here as yet. We are living in the in-between time period.

So, what changes am I planning on doing in the future?

            But Jesus turned around and when He saw her, He said, “Be of good cheer, your faith has made you well…(Matthew 9:22)

            Then Jesus said to him, “Go your way, your faith has made you well… (Mark 10:52)

            And He said to him, “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.” (Luke 17:19)

            This man was listening to Paul as he spoke. Paul looked at him intently and saw that he had faith to be made well (Acts 14:9 NASB)

I plan on giving a short teaching to each person that I pray for. Something like this:

“Listen, I am going to anoint you with oil and lay my hands on you according to James 5:14- 15 which states that my prayer of faith will heal you. Do you believe that? If you are instantly healed, we will both rejoice. 

“But if you aren’t instantly healed, do not despair because instant healing is not always the Lord’s way. Instead, it will probably be through your faith. My anointing you with oil and praying a prayer of faith will be your point of contact to activate your faith in the Lord for your healing. Our belief is that the Lord will eventually say to you, ‘Your faith has made you well.’

“Do you believe that?”

Healing by faith works. We need to learn how to walk in it and also teach people how to receive their healing through faith.

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Over 60? Is it too Late to Build a Prayer Life? (Part 4)

praying

Along with our friends, Tony and Janelle, Carol and I moved to Charlotte, North Carolina, in late 1997 to join The Watch of the Lord prayer ministry and to attend All Nations Church. Mahesh and Bonnie Chavda headed both ministries.

Each of us felt the Lord directed us to move there. Our billfolds lacked money and credit cards, but faith filled our hearts, believing God would somehow supply our needs.

We pooled out money together and rented a room with two double beds at the Charlotte Residence Inn. The room contained less than two hundred square-feet of floor space with a kitchenette, two beds, four chairs, table, and a bathroom.

A mortgage financing company hired the four of us as telephone sales reps on our second day in Charlotte. The company paid its employees on a biweekly basis, which meant our first paychecks arrived two weeks later. This posed a problem because we only had enough money for one week of rent at the motel.

Each morning the four of us gathered together and prayed for our finances, as in, “Oh Lord, help! HELP!”

We introduced ourselves to the church and ministry as soon as it was possible. The members said we were the answers to many prophecies spoken to the group about people moving from different parts of America to be a part of the ministry. Their words encouraged us, but our money still dwindled daily because of food and gas.

A couple from All Nations Church invited us to their home for a small group meeting and Christmas party on the last night of our motel rental. The four of us agreed not to mention our dire financial needs to the group, but instead, we were determined to trust the Father, according to Matthew 6:6 −

But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

The married couple lived in a beautiful new two-story home located in a picturesque area with tall pine trees. It had a large living room, three bedrooms, fireplace, two bathrooms, and large kitchen. A perfect place for four needy, soon to be homeless, believers like us.

The meeting began with Christmas songs and prayers, with the group then waiting on the Lord to hear His voice. The group leader broke the silence by turning to Tony and Janelle.

“Do you guys need something?” he asked, looking at them.

Tony and Janelle shook their heads.

“Not really. The Lord is taking care of us,” said Tony.

The group returned to waiting on the Lord, but the leader was not satisfied and again turned to Tony and Janelle.

“I just don’t feel good about your answers. What do you need?”

Tony and Janelle answered again in the same manner.

“The Lord is taking care of our needs. Thanks for asking.”

The leader would not quit. He continued to ask them what they needed.

“Okay, here’s the story,” Janelle finally said, “we’re out of money for rent and groceries starting tomorrow morning. We don’t know where we shall go or how we’ll survive until we get paid next week.”

How do you think these joyous, Christmas celebrating Christians replied to her statement? And remember: it was December and cold outside.

The group’s leader digested Janelle’s statement for a moment. He motioned with his hands.

“Let’s gather around these two couples and pray for them.”

Tony, Janelle, Carol, and I stood in the middle of the living room while ten Christians placed their hands on our shoulders and prayed. They cried out to the Lord with passion for our circumstances.

I cheated a little by keeping my eyes open and watching the group. Oh Lord, I thought, this looks like the sum total of their aid for our needs. If so, I feel like puking all over their carpet for their level of Christianity.

The rhythm of their prayers reached a crescendo and backed off, waiting for someone to speak.

“I see the Lord raining drops of gold on the four of you,” prophesied a woman. “And all you have to do is reach up by faith and grab what you need. Just reach up right now.”

The prayers ended and we sat down again.

What a convenient prophecy, I thought. They actually believe they don’t have to help us in our time of need because of the woman’s prophetic words. Shouldn’t someone ask how much gold we were able to cram into our pockets during the prayers? Why did the Holy Spirit unmask our financial needs? To reveal our lack of faith or to reveal the group’s hypocrisy?

Various types of Christmas cookies, fudge candy, sandwiches, chips, and potato salad kept the four of us busy after the prayers. We stuffed ourselves and then graciously said our goodbyes and left.

The four of us did our best to pray blessings on the group and forgive them for their lack of hospitality on our drive back to the motel.

We checked out of the motel the next morning, packed our cars, and went to work. After our phone sales shift, we drove to a large shopping mall and stayed there until it closed at 9 p.m. We then drove both cars behind a large motel and slept in our cars.

How we handled the cold December temperatures was out of necessity rather than comfort. We only started our engines when the cold became unbearable. As soon as they warmed up, we turned the engines off to conserve fuel.

This routine continued for days.

I now wonder about the what if’s, such as, what if we had been four fluffy Golden Retriever puppies abandoned by a cruel master on the couple’s front steps. Would the small group have ignored our pleading eyes and whimpering yelps, allowing us to freeze to death outside in the cold weather? I don’t think so because that’s too inhumane, right?

But whoever has the world’s goods, and sees his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him? Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth (1 John 3:17-18).

If we want to build our prayer lives, we have to prepare ourselves for the possibility that we might end up being the answer to someone else’s prayers. If we don’t want to do that, why even pray, right?

(Continued in Part 5)

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How Shall We Overcome Our Fear, Anxiety and Depression? (Part 1)

I struggle with writing a series about fear, anxiety and depression because I don’t really suffer from these disorders. It’s not that I’m uncommonly brave or anything like that. It’s just that from my childhood until now, I’ve always had an attitude of “something good is about to happen to me.”

This becomes somewhat funny if you take the time to read my testimony because the Lord saved me on the day I was going to commit suicide. It’s not that I was depressed or anxious on May 20, 1985, it’s just that I had run out of options to save my home, car and family. My life insurance policy of $125,000 seemed to be my only hope. So I thought of it at the time as a business decision – nothing more.

Now, the only time I have ever truly suffered from depression was when a Christian friend with good intentions leant me his copy of Deliverance and Inner Healing by John and Mark Sandford. The book blends scripture with the teachings of Jung and Freud to supposedly rid believers of buried memories. The authors’ premise seems to be that Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Bible are not quite enough to set captives free.

I began reading the book on a Saturday afternoon. And after about a hundred and fifty pages,  I became severely depressed and confused. The book had convinced me that my Bible studies and prayers were wasted efforts and that I needed the insights of inner healing, as outlined in this book.

I decided to go for a walk to clear my head.

As I walked down the sidewalk in a foggy daze, a Christian neighbor looked out his window and saw me. He felt I was in danger. He rushed outside and asked, “Larry, what’s your problem?”

“I’ve been reading a book entitled Deliverance and Inner Healing and it has really confused my faith,” I answered.

“Oh, that book is filled with psycho-babble and sorcery,” he replied. Then, he proceeded to outline the history of Agnes Sanford, John and Paula Sandford, Karl Jung, Sigmund Freud, inner healing and more.

“Jesus is the way, truth and light. Period,” he said.

His words instantly set me free.

Thus, if my depression on that Saturday is a small example of what many suffer on a daily basis, wow! It makes me realize just how debilitating and tormenting fear, anxiety and depression must be for millions of people.

Two female riders on my ride-share travels this week inspired me to write this article. We will talk about them in the future.

(Continued in Part 2) 

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First the Blade (Chapter 34)

 

First the Blade 

© 2019 by Larry Nevenhoven

Chapter 34

Grace (Part 2)

If you have read my testimony, you would think if anyone understood grace, it should be me.  Yet, for the first eight years of my walk with the Lord, the word grace meant little to me. I knew grace was God’s unmerited favor, but so what? The definition was just another entry in my memory bank. Nothing more, nothing less.

After my salvation in May 1985, I was hungry to learn about God and listened to tapes and read books. Kenneth Hagin, R. W. Schambach, Leonard Ravenhill, Roberts Liardon, John Lake, Kathryn Kuhlman, David Wilkerson, Smith Wigglesworth and others blessed my life with their invaluable teachings.

These teachers leaned heavily toward Arminianism and away from Calvinism, especially in their teachings about grace. Each taught that a believer could eventually lose his salvation if he did not continue walking in faith or committed an unpardonable sin.

Who was I to disagree with these teachers? They had powerful anointing on their lives. Wigglesworth raised at least fourteen people from the dead. Kuhlman healed the sick by the thousands. Lake had over a hundred thousand recorded healings during a five-year period in Portland, Oregon. All were powerful and gifted preachers.

Therefore, like many Christians, I assumed the miracles, signs, and wonders on these anointed teachers’ lives meant God approved of every one of their teachings. Unlike the Baptists who seemed to only teach grace, these teachers taught a message, which was called the Full Gospel.

But during my eight years of not understanding grace and also believing I could lose my salvation, a scripture really bugged me:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. (2 Corinthians 5: 17 NKJ)

What bugged me about the scripture was my wondering how could a believer get rid of the new creation, which lived within him? Do you ask it to leave? Do you somehow kill it? Do you have to reverse the work of the cross to end the new creation’s life? What do you do to be unborn again?

I taught, preached, and prophesied against the eternal security of a believer and against the doctrine of grace for years, but this scripture chipped away at the legalistic teachings in my heart.

I reached a crossroads in my life when I met Morris and Marion.

(Continued…but if you want to read all of the parts to date, you can go here.)

 

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