Swimming Upstream: “Why Me?”

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“O Lord, why me? Why not call Bill instead of me? He has his act together, while mine is a rotten mess,” I said to the Lord one year after my salvation (1986).

The reasoning behind the prayer was simple: my life looked like Dresden after its fire-bombing in WWII. My marriage. My family. My career. My friends. My plans. Boom! Bang! Crack! Smash! All shredded to pieces.

I was the imperfect testimony of a man who loved Jesus. Whatever I tried to do failed to help at all. I was a mess!

The only positive asset on my side of the ledger was the Lord. His presence descended upon me every morning during prayer for forty-five minutes or so. It was so awesome that I wanted to live with Him there.

But sadly, His presence always lifted. Then, I had to get off my knees and walk through my problems which were unavoidable and seemingly insurmountable.

And yet, through it all, I hungered for the next time His presence would envelope me. I wanted to be with Him, my best Friend and Lover.

Maybe I was a mess. Maybe my family was ashamed of me. Maybe all my friends had left me. Maybe I was the biggest failure in the history of the world. Maybe all this was true and more.

But still, Jesus liked to spend time with me.

The Lord eventually answered my “Why me?” prayer. He said in so many words, “I called you, not him. Get over it.”

If I had to walk on every bad road, and through every pig sty and dung hill of my life again, I would do it without hesitation if I knew His presence awaited me somewhere ahead. He’s worth it.

Who when he found found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it. (Matthew 13:46)

Swimming Upstream appears at this blog site on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. It’s  a little of this and a little of that, all written  to encourage and exhort believers in their Christian journeys.

4 Comments

Filed under Christianity, Christians, Church, church planting, Emergent Church, Faith, Gifts of the Spirit, God, grace, Home Church, Inspirational, jesus, Kingdom of God, Prayer, Prophecy, Red Letter Christians, reformation, Religion, spiritual warfare

4 responses to “Swimming Upstream: “Why Me?”

  1. Hi Larry, that was good. Most times I don’t understand why God uses a broken vessel as I for his kingdom, but I am glad that his grace is more than enough.

  2. Marianne,

    Thanks for your comments. I, too, have no clue why He would ever use me.

  3. NOTHING can compares to His presence. EVERYTHING pales in comparison.

    God didn’t use Moses until he was so broken that when God called him, Moses had only excuses for why he didn’t qualify.

  4. seriouswhimsey,

    That’s a great point about Moses.

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