My Journey Out (Part 2)

An Updated Rerun Series

Click on following link for earlier article: Part 1.

If you have read my two series, It’s Your Decision…Run or Fight! and Sifting Through The Ashes of A Spiritual Defeat, then you know that 1994 was not one of those years Frank Sinatra sang about in his hit song. It was not a very good year. In fact,  it was an absolutely, miserable one for me.

And 1995 was not much better.

By early summer, I was just looking for a back pew in a church where I could hang out, keep quiet, and hopefully, put myself back together again. My life and calling were disaster zones.

A church, thirty miles away, seemed to be the answer to my prayers. The pastor was a man with a shepherd’s heart. Its congregation was around seventy or eighty members in size and fun to be around. The worship music was awesome. And the meetings were informally held in a school gymnasium.

It seemed the perfect fit for me.

Though giving prophetic words was not what I hoped to be doing, I knew the Lord used me on good days and bad days as a prophetic voice. So, to be safe, I went up to the pastor after the first service.

“Do you have any rules about giving prophetic words at your church?” I asked him.

He smiled and shook his head. “No, we don’t,” he said. “We encourage people to give prophetic words.”

Over the following four weeks, I broke every rule he said that he did not have. Each Sunday, he was upset with me about something.

“You said there were no rules,” I whispered in exasperation one time.

“That was before I knew you,” he exclaimed. “And I’ve never met anyone like you in my thirty years of ministry.”

Finally, we met for lunch, hoping to settle our differences. It’s not that we didn’t like each other or anything like that. It’s just that he was comfortable with prophetic BB guns and I was an AK-47 assault rifle. We were miles apart in our prophetic thinking.

“Listen,” he said toward the end of our conversation, “why don’t you just submit yourself under my ministry. Then, when the Lord tells me to release you into full-time prophetic ministry, I will let you know. All of the doors of our denomination will then be open to you.”

“What if you don’t hear the Lord’s voice for my calling and life?” I asked.

He blinked. “I had not thought about that,” he replied with his eyes looking down.

The meeting ended with us giving each other hugs and going our separate ways.

The next day, I received a letter in the mail from a member of the church who was not even aware of my meeting with the pastor. She wrote that I was rebellious and needed to submit myself under pastoral authority. And if I failed to follow her so-called godly counsel, she felt my prophetic calling would never come forth. As in never, ever!

I was upset and did what Hezekiah did when he received a letter from an enemy of Israel. I walked around, reading the letter to the Lord.

“Lord, she says I’m rebellious and that I need to submit under pastoral authority. I don’t even understand pastoral authority, what is it?” I went on and on until finally I had finished.

Then I heard the Holy Spirit say, “Too much pastoring in the church.”

(Continued in Part 3)


Filed under Christianity, Church, church planting, Gifts of the Spirit, God, Home Church, jesus, Kingdom of God, Prayer, Prophecy, reformation, spiritual warfare

19 responses to “My Journey Out (Part 2)

  1. Larry,
    What a hard time to be going through, compounded with the other issues at that time, but then the Holy Spirit spoke. It is such a comfort when He speaks to my heart, it is like a warm “you’re on the right track kiddo, even if no-one else thinks you are”. Love it.

  2. blesseddad,

    As Kenneth Hagin once said, “I wouldn’t take a million dollars for the experiences I had and what they’ve done in me, but you couldn’t pay me two million dollars to go through them again.”

  3. I’m so sorry for your experiences. It is so strange, my experience in the organized church, has been so different. Perhaps my experience as a youth was more like this, but now, when I speak, people listen… it’s actually a little uncomfortable.

    You were right to take leave, I hope, you had a word for the writer of the letter?

    I left a church once that was in many troubles, and they loved me much. They valued my gifts and were eager to help feed them, but it was time, and God gave me a word to share with the congregation that was meant to seed healing and forgiveness between it’s members. God showed me it’s always best to leave a place for the better… as much as I would have liked to tell a few people off!

    I enjoy my visits here.

  4. Cindy,

    I agree that it’s best to leave a church without destroying the peace or the unity of the assembly. After all, they are our brothers and sisters.

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