This is tongue and cheek fictional humor, okay? So, chill out.
Gwen Ifill, the PBS debate moderator, sat at her desk, watching Vice President Joe Biden and former Governor Sarah Palin shake hands and then take their places behind lucite podiums. Both nodded at Ifill when they were ready.
“Ladies and Gentlemen,” said Ifill, looking at the TV monitor, “we’d like to thank you for joining us for the Joe Biden and Sarah Palin Rematch 2012. Both Vice President Biden and former Governor Palin have graciously consented to debate each other tonight on current issues with all proceeds going to help our PBS sister stations.”
Ifill paused for a moment, allowing light applause from the audience to interrupt her.
“The format for tonight’s debate is that I will ask a question on a topic of current interest. The Vice President and the Governor will then have five minutes to reply. Each will be allowed a counter reply if it is necessary. Okay?”
She eyed both Joe and Sarah, who both nodded to her.
“We will begin with Governor Palin,” said Ifill, who looked down at Palin’s feet. “Governor Palin, where did you get those lovely heels? They are absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thanks, Gwen,” said Sarah Palin, “I bought them at Nordstrom’s half-price sale just yesterday.”
“Half price!” exclaimed Ifill, shaking her head. “When’s the sale over?”
“Well,” said Ifill, “as soon as this debate is over, I’m heading over there. A woman can never have too many shoes. Thanks.”
Palin nodded and said, “You’re welcome, Gwen.”
Ifill turned toward Vice President Joseph Biden.
“Now, Vice President Biden, let’s look at the economy, okay?” said Gwen.
Biden’s eyes gleamed as he nodded.
“Some heterodox economists insist the money supply is endogenous,” said Gwen. “Now do you agree? In your answer, give specific references to neoclassical economists and mainstream economists with current figures for M0, M1, M2, M3, MZM, and the velocity of money. Also, explain in as few words as possible the term: atomistic individual conception.”
“W-wh-wha-what?” said Biden, his tongue attempting to gain traction on the roof of his mouth.
“You heard me,” said Ifill. Her eyes laser-locked on Biden’s eyes.
Vice President Biden beat his chest with his right hand and then he muttered Red Fox’s classic line: “Elizabeth, honey. This is the big one. I’m coming!”
A cheerful heart is good medicine…(Proverbs 17:22)